Magical dodo telepathical field

Dodos are not extinct. They live in that mountain that the nuclear powerplant people dug out, sitting in their BOSS CHAIRS, WEARING THEIR LITTLE RED HATS. And the US popes use them to monitor the internationally connected spee-i-door webs. The dodos are watching you. *waves* HI DODO!!!!! Lolol, BEST CONSPIRACY EVER.